How to Protect Yourself When an Unhappy Parent Leaves Your Program

Occasionally parents of the children in your family child care become upset and leave your program. What can you do to protect yourself if they later decide to file a complaint against you with your licensor?

Family child care is a business where parents and children naturally come and go. Here are some suggestions for protecting yourself should a relationship end on an unhappy note:

When a family first enrolls with your program, start keeping a notebook and record any incidents, arguments, problems, or observations about the child or parents. Situations when you want to write something down might include: a parent yells at you or uses abusive language; you notice signs that the child has been injured; the child is biting other children; or the parent complains about how you are providing care.

It is always a good idea to talk with parents right away about any problems that arise, but keeping a written record will help you remember incidents and can be useful later if a more serious conflict arises. Of course, if you suspect that the child is being abused or neglected, you should report this immediately to your licensor or child protection services.

Parent EvaluationAsk parents to fill out a written evaluation of your program on a regular basis. The evaluation should contain these key questions:

What do you like best about my program?

What can I do to improve my program?

Would you recommend me to another parent, and if so, why?

Such evaluations should be passed out at least once a year and at the time a parent is leaving. Parents will usually say wonderful things about you, and you can use these evaluations as references with prospective parents. But you may also be able use them to help you refute any serious complaints by the parent later.

Contact Your Licensor

Contact your licensor any time you are concerned about an incident with a family. Even if the incident doesn’t seem serious at the time, you can ask for advice and go on record with your side of the story as soon as possible.

For example, you might call and say, “I wanted to let you know that Mrs. Jones has been unhappy with me the last several weeks because we have had an argument about my policy of not allowing children to bring their own toys to my program. I’ve explained why I have this policy, but she is still upset. I want you to make a note in my file that I’ve had this disagreement with Mrs. Jones. If you have any advice for me I would appreciate it.”

If the licensor knows that you have been having trouble with a parent, he or she is more likely to be sympathetic to you if the parent later files a complaint.

Once the decision has been made to terminate the relationship with the parent, no matter whose decision it was to end it, try to be as positive as possible about the transition. If it was your decision, do not put the reasons for terminating the parent in writing. Parents will never agree with your reasons and anything you write will probably insult them. Just tell the parent that the situation is no longer a good fit and that no one is at fault.

I believe it is helpful to contact your licensing worker whenever a parent is leaving, in particular when the parent is leaving on bad terms. Before you terminate a parent (or before suing a parent to enforce your contract), call your licensor and explain why you are taking this action. Ask for any suggestions the licensor might have about how to handle the situation.

If you fear that the parent may file a complaint against you, tell the licensor. Refer to your notes about previous incidents with the parent. Licensors have told me that when a provider has talked to them first about a conflict with a parent and the parent later makes a complaint, the parent’s complaint is often taken as a contract dispute rather than a violation of a child care regulation, which is more serious.

Hopefully, you will not have to cope with an unhappy parent who files a complaint against you. In fact, the vast majority of the relationships between parent and provider are positive and rewarding for all involved.

Image credit: https://depositphotos.com/stock-photos/bad-parents.html

For more information about managing conflicts with parents, see my book Family Child Care Contracts and Policies.